Simplicity: it doesn’t take a genius

In the Information Age, western society’s collective memory doesn’t hold for a long time. Technology is changing daily, and with the advent of apps, there are new challenge rocking grounded institutions to their core. Taxi services, dating sites, and health trainers are being forced to change, to embrace the new 21st Century buzzword: innovation. With Twitter, Yelp, and Tripadvisor all holding travel companies responsible for their services, the power of the people to demand quality treatment is now no longer an option, but an expectation. Many of the international airlines now have their own apps, used to track flights, hold your electronic tickets, and play in-flight entertainment. And despite the great use of this new technology, many companies still cannot uphold basic travel necessities.
According to an article in Bloomberg Businessweek, while keeping the technical team happy, United was seriously lacking in its customer service: “In 2012, according to the U.S. Department of Transportation, United was responsible for 43 percent of all consumer complaints filed against U.S. airlines.”
“In 2012 and early 2014, when American Airlines Group, Delta Air Lines, and Southwest Airlines reported large, and in some cases, record profits, “the new United” lost money.” “There were layoffs, furloughs, and baggage handling and gate agent jobs were outsourced. Former Continental employees say they’d been discouraged from giving out vouchers to placate unhappy customers who had been bumped from their flights, though United says they hadn’t been.” (Bloomberg)
As a service-based company, I’m actually surprised customer satisfaction wasn’t first on United’s to-do list. They are still in the process of removing the tarnished image of poor service. What that tells me is that their profit was number one priority, and that’s what killed their customer satisfaction. Furthermore, the three CEOs in 2011 resigned, not fired.
As Drucker says, some CEOs/innovators are “kissed by the Muses”, and these brilliant ideas seem to happen out of nowhere, but true innovation doesn’t happen in a vacuum. If I’ve learned anything from my Consumer Behavior marketing class, there’s literally not enough information you can collect about your market in order to make the perfect business plan.
As Twitter continues to grow as an outlet for customer frustration and therefore an influential factor to public opinion, airlines are forced to update and increase their customer service. American Airlines is one of the top airline companies, both in sales and in customer satisfaction. Perhaps what makes American so successful is their ability to cater to the most basic human need food. “American hopes to make long waits a little easier for passengers with a new test program at New York’s JFK Airport that brings free food to delayed customers.” (Star Telegram) Providing exceptional customer services is no longer a nicety for airlines; it has become a standard.
With something as simple as providing food to frustrated customers, maybe fancy apps aren’t needed. Behind-the-scenes support doesn’t matter as much to the public as results, on-time arrivals, and personable staff do to the consumer. Nothing will always go right, but it has been shown time and time again that if compassion is shown to the customer, client— whomever you are servicing— any inconveniences are seen as minimal and company reputation remains intact. In a world where everyone’s a critic, and everyone can see those reviews, it doesn’t matter if a company is providing the latest and greatest technological innovation. “Innovate for the present”, Drucker says. United could definitely learn something from him.

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Lazer Tag- Fight For Freedom

It hit it’s peak in the nineties and fizzed out, along with DDR and movie arcades. They have fallen into the realm of the dweeby 8 year-olds and that is where they will stay- because who the heck wants to touch something after it’s been drooled, spat and snotted on by Marvin the ginger in the 2nd grade. There, along with decent children’s movies and morally-guided children’s books, Laser Tag will stay, decrepit and weary, dreaming of the day it will once again soar to the top of the Cool List, blowing the Disney Channel movie star/singer/rocker/rapper/dancer/hooker Wanna-Be’s out of the water. But only if we fight for it.

To combat the short, alien menace, we must wear gloves . . . even after the fact. Suit up when going into battle (including face mask and gardening gloves) and underneath the light-up pack, bring Kleenex and Windex, should you be infected. Be wary of any running noses and grabby hands because no matter what the rules say, Laser Tag is a contact sport.

Wear black at all times. Their birth certificate says they’re only eight but evil has many forms and doesn’t care for age. They will jump you. They will bite you and you will be infected, unless you are camouflaged. Protect face and ears. Once you are down, they will not hesitate to add insult to injury: to condemn you to a Wet Willy. And believe me, few victims of this guerrilla tactic live to tell the tale, and even then, they still are never able to remove all the spit, crayon mush and dirt that was lodged deep in their ear on that fateful day.

Do not be fooled by their “innocence” or “crying”. You see a sobbing child, you take that shot, knock him down and keep moving. Despite what we are taught to believe, the sound of crying actually serves two purposes: 1) a distractor, to confuse and send the enemy into disarray and 2) a trap to pull unwitting adults into their clutches, where upon entering the trap, they succumb to thousands of the little monsters, crawling everywhere, shooting and stealing points from the adult, until they are reduced to the bottom of the score chart. It’s not pretty, my friends. But it’s the world we live in and there are somethings in this life that you just have to suck up. Nut up or shut up.

This is not a joke, people. This is a serious game and it has fallen into enemy territory. We must retrieve it or childhood as we all remember and cherish it will be gone forever. Shall we fight for it, or shall the thrill of being a secret agent trapped in an LSD world with martians as the sole enemy, be lost to the land of the heathen gods?


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